My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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