So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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