I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Let's paint friendship bongs
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize