so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
