You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize