I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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