; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I am naked and annoyed.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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