Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
