stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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