call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i think i just lost a toe
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
