I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
