What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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