I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
