We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Non-Jews are for practice
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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