dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
vagina is talking i cant
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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