I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
