You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
