well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So vagazzling was a success
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
