Kiss
Puke
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
