My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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