i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
