I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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