I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
