I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
