Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
