He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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