D3 body, D1 cock
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
