margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
