but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
