does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
