Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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