too bad you live with your parents still
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
