Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
