Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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