Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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