She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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