I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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