After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
