whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
