Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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