Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
