If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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