So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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