talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
