No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Never joke about your clitoris.
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