Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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