i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
