Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Randomize
