Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize