So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
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