so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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