Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
