Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
