Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
