I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
