Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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