I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize