What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
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