soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
