Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
